


if you go down to the woods today

by stevenstamkos



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 2016-2017 NHL Season, Animal Transformation, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Magical Realism, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-16 01:38:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13625823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stevenstamkos/pseuds/stevenstamkos
Summary: “It’s okay,” Zach says, because he’s objectively horrible and is able to say this shit with a straight face. “I would fuck you for more than your ability to turn into a 900 lb grizzly bear.”Josh throws a pillow at him, and then decides to follow that up with the TV remote.





	if you go down to the woods today

**Author's Note:**

> For Hannah, and anyone else who I forced to look at [this pic of Josh](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DU1NL9vXUAAxhrb.jpg) in his fur coat. [He is so big](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DVkcLF8UMAMaRFl.jpg). If you told me he could turn into a bear I would believe you
> 
> Warnings: None really, except for a number of highly upsetting conversations about furries/cryptid fuckers, and also please don't fuck any bears or I'll have to call the cops 
> 
> Title from "Teddy Bear's Picnic" by Anne Murray

Being a bear is nice. It’s relaxed and easy and you don’t need to worry about things like how Torts is gonna light your ass on fire after the team laid an egg last game, or whether you remembered to call your mom last Saturday. When you’re a bear, you just walk around and stare at some leaves and eat a lot, and it’s generally pretty fun.

Not that there are a lot of places to roam around in Columbus. Not for a 900 lb grizzly anyway.

There wasn’t much room in Burlington for a bear either, but when Josh was a kid, his parents used to take him on drives far away from the heart of Toronto, and he got to dick around in the woods and any strangers who saw him chalked it up to weird bear migration patterns. That worked pretty well in London, too. Southern Ontario, you know.

In Columbus, he can’t very well go wandering around in the streets, and it’s mostly just corn outside of the city. Not exactly bear territory.

When he was first called up in ‘15, Josh used to sneak into the Columbus Zoo at night and hang out with the bears there. They’re pretty friendly, if a little suspicious of him, understandably. But he’s pretty big, like bigger than normal—that is _definitely_ a point of pride for Josh—so everyone just sort of tolerates him by default and he thinks that maybe they started to adopt him.

One time, he timed it wrong and a zookeeper came to the exhibit and freaked out when he found an extra bear he didn’t recognize. There was a lot of anxious whispering and pointing and Josh had to wait until everyone ran off to call the head of the zoo before he could take off his pelt and slip out unnoticed. That probably generated a lot of paperwork for everyone involved, though thankfully none for the Blue Jackets about their wayward Monsters call-up.

He went to the zoo a little less after that.

But hey. Josh likes being a bear.

 

Zach Werenski doesn’t take Josh up on his offer of a room in Cleveland, but they make their little pact about getting a place together if they make it up this season, and they’re both still in Columbus, which is how Josh ends up apartment-hunting with Zach in late October.

There are a lot of things that they have to agree on: schedules and room sizes and a million other things that come into play when two people are living together. And there’s also the question of bears.

Josh is 22 years old. He should be used to asking by now. He isn’t.

There’s just—There’s no really good way to ask if your future roomie and teammate happens to have a massive bear-phobia, is there? Not without raising all sorts of weird questions, anyway. So he just jumps in feet-first.

“You’re not allergic to fur, are you?” he asks. It’s a softball question, to start.

If Zach hears any sort of weird note in Josh’s voice, he doesn’t let on. “Nah, have dogs at home.”

“Oh, good.” A semi-awkward pause. “Also are you scared of bears by any chance?”

This time Zach does turn to look at him, one eyebrow barely raised, which Josh is coming to realize might as well be a shout of surprise from Zach Werenski. “Are you...bringing a bear to live with us?”

“No.” _Not exactly_. “Just wondering. I really like bears.”

Zach only blinks at Josh a few more times, like _good for you?_ and says, “Cool, me too,” and goes back to checking out the wall outlets and making remarks about how he likes the view outside this place.

To be honest, Josh is so relieved that he pretty much coughs up half the first month’s rent right then and there.

 

Living with Zach is easy, Josh finds out quickly enough. Zach likes to keep the place tidy, which is fine by Josh, and they have a good time chilling on the couch they picked out. They don’t spend all their time together, both of them enjoying their own privacy, but they see each other enough at mealtimes and in Josh’s car on the way to the rink.

They almost never get mixed up in each other’s stuff. That’s good, because Josh leaves his pelt _everywhere_ in the apartment, usually tossed over a chair in the kitchen or on the couch. Zach doesn’t ever touch it, except to pick it up when it slides onto the floor.

Zach also never asks Josh why he even has a giant fur coat that he’ll put on before disappearing for hours at a time. He’ll chirp Josh about everything else, but not that.

Somehow, Zach just seems to know it’s personal, and he never asks.

 

The leaves are falling in Columbus, and Josh discovers Highbanks on the edge of the city. It’s pretty much the best thing since sliced bread: acres of dense woods with lots of rock formations to climb and even a river where he can splash around and pretend to fish. Part of it’s a nature preserve, so he gets a place to roam around and avoid the people running around looking for the Charmander nest on Pokemon Go.

It’s a beautiful place for him to go in his free time, and Josh makes sure to fit in an afternoon where he does nothing but roll around in the fallen leaves, which is plenty fun as a human and infinitely more fun as a bear.

He gets back to the apartment with bits of dried leaf in his pelt, which he’s too lazy to pick out at the moment.

The door to Zach’s room is closed, so Josh just leaves his pelt on the couch and heads into the bathroom to wash the dirt out of his hair. Halfway through his shower, he gets a text from Seth about going out that night, and he’s feeling good, so he shoots off a thumbs up and wraps a towel around his waist before knocking on Zach’s door.

“Seth and Boone are going out tonight,” he says, poking his head into Zach’s room. “You wanna come with?”

Zach is on his Xbox again, but he pulls off his headset for a moment. “What’s the plan?”

“Probably just drinks, that sort of thing.”

“Nah, I’m good. I’m kicking Dylan’s ass right now, so I’m gonna finish the job.”

“Yeah, okay.” Josh nods. He wonders if he’s imagining Zach staring at his shoulders. “Have fun with Larkin.”

“Put on some clothes before you go out,” he hears Zach call after him, and then Zach goes back to screaming into his game mic.

When Josh gets back much, much later, he gets halfway to his room before he remembers that his pelt is still on the couch. It’s been moved though, so it’s draped over the back instead of resting on the seat. Josh notices, because he’s messy compared to Zach, but at least he’s an _aware_ kind of messy. He definitely knows when someone’s been moving his shit around.

He picks up his pelt and frowns, noting the strong smell of Zach in the fur, stronger than the faint hint of Zach that clings to everything in the apartment. The notable thing is that his pelt is _clean_ though, no crushed leaves worked into the fur.

A quick check of the trash can shows a small pile of dried leaves.

It’s a really nice gesture. Seriously, Josh is touched. He glances down the hall, but Zach’s door is still closed.

 

The vets on the team have known pretty much as soon as Jackets management told Josh that he was staying up. It seemed like the responsible thing to do, telling Nick and Dubi and Hartsy, and Kekalainen helped him break the news to them. They took it well.

Since then, Josh has been working up the nerve to tell the rest of his teammates, mostly cause he figures they’re like family now. It’s still pretty unnerving though, so he does what he always does with Zach and he just—

“So I turn into a bear sometimes,” Josh says.

Zach’s eyes flick up to him, expressionless.

Josh goes on. “Never in the apartment, cause I wouldn’t fit and I might break it. But like, I could, if I wanted to.”

Zach finishes his mouthful of dinner before he speaks, because he’s a civilized human. “So you’re like what, a werewolf? Werebear?”

“Wait, is that a real thing?”

Maybe werebears are distant cousins of his, if they exist at all. Josh tries to picture getting bitten by a bear and turning into one every full moon, like some kind of jacked up Winnie the Pooh on steroids. But he knows the strength in his jaws when he’s four-legged and furry. He can’t imagine anyone surviving a bear attack long enough to turn into a fucking _werebear_.

“Dunno if they’re real,” Zach says. “Aren’t you the expert?”

“I’m not a fucking _werebear_ , Z. I just...My pelt—My fur coat. When I put it on I can turn into—”

“Oh.” Zach absorbs this little detail in silence. “Okay. Cool.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Nick said something about you and bears, so. Kind of guessed you had a secret pet bear in Canada. This is cooler though.”

“You’re not freaking out.”

Zach hesitates. “You have three pictures of a baby bear on your dresser, and you smell like fish when you get back from Highbanks. I always knew you were a huge weirdo. Also last week you came home covered in blood and turkey feathers.”

“That was _once_. And I was hungry.”

“Weirdo.” There’s an amused light in Zach’s eyes at least, and he’s still not freaking out, so they’re probably in the clear.

Josh gets up to do the cleaning up. He’s smiling.

 

When Josh was really little—like cat-sized bear cub little—his mom would tell him stories about people who could shift between animal and human: selkies and swan princesses whose sealskins or swanskins were stolen by humans. Those humans always seemed to want to wife up the selkie or swan girl, and she was always pretty upset about that, waiting years until she could steal back her skin.

“And that is why you need to take good care of your pelt,” his mother would say.

It used to worry Josh, until he realized that no one would want to wife _him_ up, since seals and swans are one thing and fucking _bears_ are another. Even when he was an undersized bear, before he hit his growth spurt, people didn’t fuck with him in bear-form. And now? Definitely not.

The only reason people would want to steal his pelt would be because some freaks get a kick out of wearing animal fur. And bear fur isn’t even that popular anymore. His pelt isn't exactly a Canada Goose jacket, thank god.

Zach is a totally chill person. He wouldn’t want to steal Josh’s pelt for any evil purposes. So Josh is pretty cool with Zach touching it. Might be weirdly into the idea, actually. Like, really weirdly into the idea.

 

They’re watching Game 5 of the ALCS, Blue Jays versus Indians, both relaxing on opposite ends of the couch they bought together. Josh might be physically closer to the Indians now, but he’s definitely still more of a Jays fan, growing up around Toronto. As for Zach, the Tigers aren’t in the playoffs this year, but he’s having a good enough time booing the Jays and enjoying every anguished sound Josh makes.

It’s during a commercial break when Zach turns to Josh and says, “So, just out of curiosity. You ever have someone call you a bear?”

“I don’t really tell people what I am,” Josh says. “You’re different, cause teammates and we live together, but—”

Zach’s face is doing a weird thing, and then he says cautiously, “No, I mean like...You ever have someone call you a b—like, a _bear_. At a bar or something, when you’re out wheeling.”

And Josh isn’t really _great_ with words, but he’s been living with enough guys all his life to pick up a thing or two.

Zach knows what Josh is into, more or less. And Josh knows that Zach has fooled around with guys before too, and not just out of necessity. They both know and neither of them has a problem with it, but that doesn’t mean Josh wants to _talk_ about—

“No! Jesus fucking Christ, no. Oh my god, Z.”

There’s rare color faintly spotting Zach’s cheeks, and he’s carefully watching the extremely boring pre-World Series commercial on TV.

“Okay, good,” he says, mostly under his breath.

They’re both too horrified to talk about it further.

For the next couple of days, Josh shaves a little more closely in the morning.

 

His name in Zach’s phone is _Andy_ (Maple Leaf )(Bear Face ) which is pretty cute. He’s glad Zach is being so cool with the bear roommate thing, as long as they never have a weird conversation about it again.

 

“You don’t hibernate, do you?” Zach asks. “Cause we sort of need you for games and stuff in December and January—”

Josh laughs. He’s never been asked that before. “I don’t hibernate,” he promises.

He doesn’t. He gets up every day, and he still does the cleaning up because Zach is a fucking _neat freak_ , and he is a perfectly functional human being. Josh Anderson might be a bear _sometimes_ , but that doesn’t mean he is literally a bear all the time.

He just...He likes to sleep, okay? Maybe a little more in the winter, but that’s because it’s _cold_ and he likes burrowing under the covers. Who the hell doesn't?

Zach doesn’t seem to get that memo, because he barges into Josh’s room one Sunday and practically rips the covers off him, and it’s _cold_ , and Josh is not happy about that. They generally are pretty good about not getting in each other’s way, and there’s never been a problem with personal space before. Zach doesn’t come into Josh’s room unless Josh lets him. Zach certainly never bursts in to violently wake Josh up on a cold December morning.

Josh tries to growl at him, but he thinks he only makes a pathetic kind of noise.

“I thought you don’t hibernate,” Zach says.

“I _don’t_. I just like to sleep in on off-days. Leave me alone.”

“It’s 3 pm, Andy,” Zach points out. “You never used to sleep in this late until it got cold out.”

“It is _not_ 3 pm.”

Zach shows him the face of his watch, and shit, it really is just after 3 in the afternoon. It’s even getting a little dark out. Josh sits up quickly in bed.

“You weren’t answering when I knocked to ask if you ate yet, and then you didn’t wake up when I tried shaking you awake.” Zach grins a little. “You know, I was willing to risk my life to poke the bear and make sure you didn’t die of starvation.”

“Ugh,” Josh says.

“Happy spring,” Zach says, and puts a plate of eggs on his knee.

 

Halfway into December, Josh gets drunk at Dubi’s house during the Blue Jackets Christmas party and thinks it would be a great idea to wander off in bear-form. Thankfully, he makes it through the door before putting on his pelt, saving Dubi from having to repair a bear-shaped hole in his wall. And also thankfully, Ohio is already kind of weird, so.

 _GIANT BEAR SPOTTED IN CORNHENGE_ , screams the headline in the Dispatch the next day.

There is even a blurry picture of Josh, or rather, of Josh’s furry ass.

According to the Dispatch, a huge bear had come from fucking nowhere last night and gone rogue on the innocent corn statues in the field, ripping out chunks of concrete. The article is accompanied by several closeup photos of the damage, taken in the morning light.

Zach reads it out loud from his phone, and then he looks at Josh nursing his sore mouth, and then he goes back to eating his cereal.

Over the course of two days, people get over it alarmingly fast when there’s no more sign of the giant bear, and everyone who’s not a park ranger chalks it up to one big hoax. It’s Cornhenge, after all—the place itself is practically a joke.

Josh thankfully fades out of the news with dignity. Or so he thinks.

On Reddit, someone claims that they saw the bear become a man while they were getting high in Cornhenge that night, and what starts as a joke suddenly takes on a life of its own. Someone else supplies a grainy picture of a naked dude high-tailing it through the corn statues. (Josh is adamant that this is not him, because his ass is definitely nicer looking.) Someone else points out that the bear’s mysterious disappearance in the middle of suburban Columbus means that obviously, the Bear Man is walking amongst them.

Soon, the entire r/bearman thread is full of comments about how people want to fuck the Bear Man, because of fucking course.

Josh doesn’t know about it until Zach brings it up about a week after the incident. Zach has been on his phone an awful lot over the past few days, and he’s been prone to sudden giggling with no explanation. It’s very unlike Zach.

He’s on his phone again when he says, out of the blue, “Hey man, d’you get laid recently?”

Josh has been insta-flirting with this girl who goes to OSU, but neither of them has actually offered to put out, and Josh gets the feeling that her heart’s not really in it. (To be fair, neither is his, he thinks, eyes sliding involuntarily to Zach.) So no, Josh’s dick has sadly not been sucked in recent memory.

“Not in the past month…Why?”

There’s a smile starting at the corner of Zach’s mouth, and Josh’s stomach sinks. “You know how there was that person on Reddit who said that they saw you turn back into a person? And someone else put up a picture of the naked guy in Cornhenge, by Dubi’s house?”

“Are they still not over that? Thought that joke would run out of steam days ago.”

That is _definitely_ a shit-eating grin taking over Zach’s face. “You have _so_ many fans, Andy.”

And then Zach tells him, with great relish, about all the people around the world who want to find the Columbus Bear Man just to get down to some kinky shit with him. It’s—so bad. Josh is so fucking scarred.

“Hey look, this one’s a professional cryptid-fucker from the PNW. Says they’ve fucked Bigfoot and Mothman and now they’re coming for you.”

“Shut up, there’s no way that’s real. You’re making that up.” Josh makes a grab for Zach’s phone, and Zach jerks back, laughing.

“I can’t believe I just read the words ‘I’m gonna suck this bear dick.’ They wanna suck your bear dick, Josh.”

“At least people _want_ to fuck me.”

“Nah man, I think they just wanna pull your fur or something. Kinky.”

“I don’t—I don’t even _have_ fur when I’m human,” Josh sputters. That didn't even make _sense_.

“It’s okay,” Zach says, because he’s objectively horrible and is able to say this shit with a straight face. “I would fuck you for more than your ability to turn into a 900 lb grizzly bear.”

Josh throws a pillow at him, and then decides to follow that up with the TV remote.

 

He doesn’t think about Zach saying he would fuck him. Not much, anyway.

Okay, that’s an absolute lie. He thinks about it pretty much every night. In his defense, it really was kind of a sweet statement, Josh thinks.

Zach changes Josh’s name in his contacts to _Josh_ (Bear Face )(Aubergine ≊ Eggplant) and Josh isn’t sure if he should be flattered or horrified. He would be perfectly happy to never hear the words “bear dick” again, ever, for the rest of his life, thanks.

 

They are up to 14 wins in their win streak. They’re in a playoff spot.

Josh puts his feet in Zach’s lap while they watch game tape, and Zach squeezes his ankle, thumb a light pressure against the bone.

When they end the year in Minnesota, 15 games into their win streak and having snapped the Wild’s at 12, everyone’s a little tired and a lot drunk and mostly enjoying the fuck out of themselves. They are making history, baby.

Zach kisses Josh at midnight, and Josh is hot and dizzy and he feels like he does when he’s a bear—huge and invincible and like 10 feet tall, like there’s nothing in his way. He slides his hand around the back of Zach’s neck, holds Zach there and lets his world narrow down to the sound of his heart beating in his ears, the feel of Zach’s mouth.

They don’t talk about it in the morning. Why should they? Everyone knows that New Year’s is no-holds-barred.

Whatever happened last night when the clock struck midnight on a new year, it’s all swept away by the strong morning light and the fucking _killer_ hangover Josh has. He wraps himself in his pelt and thinks about wind through his fur, but not hard enough that he goes full-on bear and puts a hole in the hotel bathroom.

That’s a pity though. Bears don’t get hangovers. Then again, bears can’t drink or play hockey, either.

 

Away from the rink, they still spend plenty of time together, mostly during meals and on nights when they both choose to stay in. On those nights, Josh joins Zach in his room for some quality Xbox time, or they stretch out on their shared couch and watch hockey. It’s a good system they have.

 

They’re watching the Caps play the Devils, two divisional rivals, though it’s more like watching the Caps pound the Devils to dust. Josh is starting to worry about whether mercy kills should be made legal in the league. Probably not, but the Devils really are so fucking bad.

(This, of course, can only be a good thing for the Jackets.)

The heating is on, but Josh has his pelt in his lap, mostly because it’s warm but also because he likes having it near. His eyes are on the screen.

Some kind of sixth sense or peripheral vision makes him aware of Zach on the other end of the couch though, Zach in a stretched black t-shirt and sweats, socks on his feet, focused entirely on the game on TV. He’s relaxed, nowhere near as intense as he is when he’s the one on the ice. But his fingers are digging into his arms, and then he tucks them between his arm and his body, curling a little more into himself.

Josh doesn’t need any kind of magical sixth sense to know that Zach’s cold.

“You cold?” he asks anyway.

It takes Zach a couple seconds to look away from the Caps power play. “Little bit,” he says. “Too lazy to get up though.”

“You need to borrow a corner?”

He holds up one corner of his pelt, and Zach hesitates, says, “Actually, I’ll go grab something from my room during the next break.”

Oh jeez. Zach is still careful about not touching Josh’s pelt, even though it’s January and they’ve been living together for three months now. Josh thinks that maybe Zach has weird ideas about his pelt being off-limits or something, which it isn’t. It’s just fur. Like, magical fur, but Josh trusts Zach enough.

He scoots over a few inches and tosses one end of his pelt over to Zach like it’s a throw blanket. It doesn’t get all the way into Zach’s lap, but it’s sort of touching his leg, which should enough of a clear invitation.

For a long moment, Zach just stares at the pelt like he thinks it’s going to come alive, and then he pulls it into his lap, moving a little toward Josh so they both fit under it. There’s still a good amount of space between them, but Josh feels warmer somehow, smiling to himself as Zach buries his fingers in the fur and pulls it around himself.

They don’t talk about it until second intermission, when there’s a lull in their color commentary.

“It’s soft,” Zach says. He’s petting the fur, marveling a little, and Josh kind of preens.

Zach might as well have told him he has good hair. It’s pretty much the same thing, right?

“And you’ve got, like—ears on this thing. On the hood,” Zach says.

“Real observant, Z. A+ for that.”

Josh watches as Zach traces the round little ears on the hood of his pelt. Right now, it looks like a big fur coat, but yeah the ears are probably the universe’s way of telling Josh not to get too full of himself. Like, he can put on his pelt and turn into a fucking killer grizzly, but also he can put it on as a coat and look like a giant teddy bear.

Most of the time, Josh does not want to look like a giant teddy bear.

“That’s cute. You’re like a teddy bear,” Zach grins. “You’re fucking adorable.”

Being a teddy bear isn’t like, the _worst_ thing Josh can think of though.

 

“You’re not going to the forest to hang out for bye week?” Zach asks.

Josh rolls his eyes. “Just because I’m a part-time bear doesn’t mean I’m turning down sun and sand in the middle of January.”

 

He does go hang out in the forest during All-Star break, though. In fact, Josh and Zach go hiking together. It’s a really chilly day, and it gets colder as they get deeper into the forest and higher up, though they never really get high enough for the air to thin.

It’s still cold though, and Zach is continuing to perfect the art of underdressing. _And_ he’s wearing a Michigan hoodie.

Josh wordlessly passes him his pelt, which is a bit heavy but perfect for the weather.

“You’re not…?” Zach starts, but he reaches for it without much of a fight.

“I’m pretty much built for this kind of weather,” Josh says. “I’m in my element, man. No worries. You should cover up; it’s cold for you probably.” And then, because that’s too sappy, “Also I’m tired of looking at your Michigan pride.”

“Go Blue,” Zach says on automatic. He shakes out the pelt and looks at it, hard. “Wait, if you turn into a bear when you put it on…”

“You’re not going to turn into a bear,” Josh says. “Even I don’t turn into a bear when I put it on, not unless I want to. I gotta think about it.”

Zach still looks kind of suspicious, and Josh is contemplating forcing him into the thing when he shrugs and finally wraps it around himself. He looks fucking ridiculous, disappearing into the fur. Josh loves it.

“You look like a little teddy bear,” he says.

“I’m a stud,” Zach shoots back, easy. He does a bit of adjusting, pulling at the sleeves until the coat is sitting nicely on his shoulders, hood up. The ears are sticking straight up on his head.

Josh doesn’t bother to bite back his laugh, mostly so he doesn’t have to think about how pleased he feels at the sight.

 

Zach is more free about touching Josh’s pelt after that. Sometimes, Josh comes back and finds it on his bed, folded neatly because it’s Zach, and he smiles at the thought of Zach being all careful with it.

As they get more and more stuff for their apartment though, they gradually run out of places for Josh to just leave his pelt. It ends up buried under random stuff, or moved around so they can sit down, or picked off the floor when it slides off the back of a chair.

One night, there’s a knock on Josh’s door and he opens it to find Zach, arms full of coat hangers. They’re the nice kind, the heavy-duty wooden ones, not the colorful plastic ones that Zach probably used when he was a college student.

“Wanna take these off my hands? I bought too many,” he says, like Josh can’t see right through him.

Josh takes them though, because it’s really nice of Zach.

He starts hanging his pelt up in his room, and then when he remembers that Zach sometimes uses it as a blanket when on the couch, he moves it into their shared space.

 

Mid-February, both Cam and Wenny get the flu, and then Wild Bill comes down with it (no guesses where he got it from). So when Zach starts looking kind of pale and tired, Josh immediately goes to the nearest CVS and picks up extra-strength DayQuil and NyQuil.

He gets back to find Zach in bed—his own, not Josh’s—wrapped up in his pelt.

“It was warm,” he says, before Josh can say anything. “I’ll wash it later.”

And hey, Josh wasn’t gonna say anything. It’s not like he has a problem with it.

Once they realize it’s just a cold though, Zach starts complaining about how he’s too sick to be kissed on Valentine’s Day, which is pathetic because Zach doesn’t even _have_ a Valentine’s date as far as Josh is concerned. Not unless he set something up with someone on Tinder or Instagram, and he hasn’t really been trying lately.

“You’re too germy for anyone to kiss,” Josh tells him.

Zach sighs, but it comes out a little nasally. He hasn’t been able to use his nose in days.

And then Josh feels bad, so he buys some Hershey’s kisses and tells Zach to catch his kisses, blowing an exaggerated kiss at Zach from across the room. Zach pretends to catch it, and then Josh nails him in the head with the chocolate.

For all his light-hearted complaining, Zach turns out to be completely fine on Valentine’s Day. Josh eats half the leftover chocolate because Zach is fully capable of getting _real_ kisses now, so he doesn’t feel too bad about helping himself. And he bought it anyway. Zach will understand.

 

The playoffs are starting in a few days, and Torts gives them a day off after morning skate, which is some kind of fucking miracle. But hey, they’ll take it. There’s buzzing under Josh’s skin, a need to go out and scratch a tree or just be on all fours, paws in the mud and sun on his fur. It probably has something to do the excitement of his first NHL postseason.

Zach invites himself along again, and Josh doesn’t say anything about it, just tosses their stuff in the back of the truck and drives to Highbanks.

They stick to the quiet parts of the park, by the river but off the nature preserve, where no one can bother them. It’s still a little cool for April, not too many people wandering the outdoors. That’s fine by Josh. He and Zach walk in comfortable silence, only breaking it now and then to point out a flock of wild turkeys or the streaking orange that’s a small fox.

“This is nice,” Zach says, relaxed, and Josh sees the tension in his shoulders flowing out with each step.

He feels it too, himself. The fresh air and the running water help, and he reaches for his coat, draws it closer around himself.

Zach is ahead, checking out a cool-looking rock formation, so Josh pulls the hood of his pelt up and thinks bear thoughts until he’s falling forward, feeling himself grow bigger and heavier until he’s standing on all fours. Everything gets louder, and he’s hit with the smell of grass and moss and about 50 different species of bird and rodent, all the smells of spring.

He makes his way over to Zach on silent feet, getting there just as Zach turns around mid-sentence, a quick burst of “Hey Josh—” that dies in his throat.

If Josh were human, he’d probably feel kind of sorry for Zach, coming face-to-face with a 900 lb grizzly. But Josh is not human, and he’s not thinking human thoughts, and he’s mostly distracted by the smell of Zach, which is sharper and warmer and comfortably familiar.

“Josh?” Zach whispers. He’s frozen in place, barely breathing, and Josh takes his time smelling all the interesting smells in his hair. “That’s you, right? Please tell me that’s you.”

Josh noses at Zach’s jaw before finding a nice spot by the edge of the water and flopping down in a bit of new grass. It requires some wiggling around before he gets comfortable, but he does, and then he yawns and lays his head on his paws, flicking his ears at Zach.

For his part, Zach deflates immediately. “Oh Jesus, you scared me. Thought for a sec that you were a random bear.”

Josh snorts through his nose, which is as close as he can get to laughing.

“You could’ve given me some warning, you know.”

Another snort.

After a long moment, Zach walks over, taking a seat next to Josh. He studies him for another few minutes before laying a hand on Josh’s back, and then, when Josh doesn’t immediately kill him, he starts kind of...petting him.

Josh is not a house dog, for the record, but it’s still nice. He’s pretty content to lay there, letting Zach pick the grass and leaves out of his fur.

“You know, I never really knew what to expect from you,” Zach says. His fingers feel nice combing through Josh’s fur. “Like, bear-you, I mean. I don’t know, you’re like a normal bear though, except you understand what I’m saying and you can turn into a human.”

He buries his hands in the thick fur around Josh’s neck, and Josh lets out a little rumble of happiness.

“You...do understand me, right? Or am I just talking to a fucking bear?”

Josh opens his eyes and shoots Zach a look, about as insulted as he can make it when his face is mostly snout and is covered in fur.

“Right,” Zach says. He must be feeling brave, because he eventually lays his head on Josh’s shoulder, which is a lot closer than most people are willing to get with a bear. Josh likes the solid weight of him against his side.

 

The sun is starting to set when Zach wakes from his sudden nap. Josh knows because his breathing pattern changes. But also mostly because Zach immediately jabs him in the side with an elbow as he sits upright.

“Shit, sorry man,” Zach whispers, patting Josh’s neck in apology.

Josh demands payment in ear scratches. He doesn’t get a lot of those, okay?

And Zach is a good bro, because he delivers, getting the message pretty fast when Josh bumps the top of his head against his hand a few times. As he scratches behind Josh’s ears though, Zach also keeps an eye on the sky. “It’s getting late. We should probably head back soon.”

He’s right. They have practice tomorrow, and then the day after, they’re on a plane to Pittsburgh for Game 1 against the Penguins. Their first NHL playoff series. There’s no way Josh is going to miss that because he’s busy prancing around Highbanks on all fours.

He gets up, shaking himself off, and now Zach is looking at him with something that’s like awe. It makes Josh feel warm and big and powerful.

For a minute, he milks it for all it’s worth, the clearly stunned look on Zach’s face. There’s just something about bears that _gets_ to people, something that’s half-admiration and half-fear and all like, _holy shit_. Josh can’t deny that he’s pretty smug about it.

But the sun really is sinking in the sky, so he stretches one last time and thinks about human things, like hockey and takeout and booze and—

— _and Zach’s mouth, champagne-sweet on New Year’s_ —

—and Zach screaming into his Xbox mic, fingers on the buttons of his controller. Not Zach’s mouth. Josh doesn’t think about that.

He’s blinking on all fours, letting his eyes adjust. It always takes a bit for his brain to get used to human eyes and how frankly pathetic human senses are compared to bear senses. The world seems quieter, kind of muffled, none of the sharp smells and sounds that Josh is always semi-aware of as a bear. The hood of his pelt slips off, and he shakes his head to clear it, still disoriented.

Zach’s voice brings him back to himself.

“Hey your clothes are still on. I was kinda afraid you’d end up naked when you turned back.”

“Sure you’d love the view,” Josh mumbles.

He sits back, planting his ass on the ground so he’s not on his hands and knees anymore.

Zach watches, still kneeling next to him. There’s a kind of respect in his eyes. “That was really cool,” he says. “The bear thing, I mean.”

“Yeah. It’s fantastic. Best feeling in the world, being a bear.” Josh gives him a lazy grin, suggestive. “ _One_ of the best feelings in the world.”

His words aren’t lost on Zach. “Pretty cool for the person watching, too. You share that with a lot of people?”

Josh shrugs. “Bears are kinda shy, actually. I don’t really let anyone see me change. Just you know, the people who’ve known for years already, mostly family. Couple of cousins who are also bears. That one guy getting high in Cornhenge the night of the Christmas party…” He glances at Zach. “And you now.”

“Right. Me. Nice.”

It’s still a little chilly out in late April, and Josh is clear-headed and calm and the setting sun is orange-red and lending all sorts of colors to him and to Zach, throwing shadows over Zach’s face under his Blue Jackets snapback, and really, Josh barely notices himself leaning in.

He’s going slow though, slow enough for Zach to lean in too, brushing a barely-there kiss to Josh’s mouth before he pulls away, but not far.

Before Josh has time to feel disappointed, Zach asks, kind of hushed, “This isn’t gonna be like New Year’s, is it?”

Josh shakes his head.

“Okay, good,” Zach says, and then he wraps his fingers in the fur around Josh’s shoulders and uses it to drag him closer.

 

“I wasn’t really afraid you’d end up naked, you know.”

“Is that honesty, Zachary Werenski?”

Zach has to dodge a tree branch, but he’s as practical as ever when he answers. “I have _eyes_ in the dressing room. And in the apartment since you keep walking around in a towel. All I’m saying is, it wouldn’t have been terrible for me if you ended up a little naked.”

“Dicks out, eh?”

Josh turns to smirk at him, though he’s halfway sure it’s more of a goofy smile than a smirk. He’s gonna need to work on that around Zach.

 

The thing is—

“That you’re in love with me, right?” Zach asks, just a hint of smug in his voice.

“That’s not what the thing is,” Josh says. “But yeah.”

Zach is obviously surprised by Josh admitting that, but he doesn’t say anything, just kisses him again. Josh thinks that’s a good enough answer.

 

Okay no, but the thing is—

That fucking Bear Man thing just won’t go away, even months later. It’s not mainstream news, but among the weirdos who take cryptids super seriously, the Bear Man is something fresh and exciting and it’s just _not going away_. He’s apparently been spotted as far north as Ontario and as far west as BC. And everywhere he “shows up,” there are fanatics who want to photograph him—not to mention the good number who want to fuck him. Josh wants to die, a little bit.

He has to admit though that it’s _almost_ a welcome distraction when they’re down 3-1 in the series against Pittsburgh and Zach’s face is fucking _broken_. Almost being the key word.

“You were spotted in the PNW again last night,” Zach announces. “You’re also getting it on with Sasquatch.” He somehow manages to say that with a completely straight face, which is good because he doesn’t have a lot of freedom of movement anyway. Because, you know. Puck, face. Fuck the Penguins.

“Stop talking so much,” Josh says, “or you’ll fuck up your face even more.”

“My face is broken, not my mouth,” Zach says. He’s sidelined and antsy about it, so Josh gives it up and just lets him scroll around on reddit and tell him about whatever people are saying on r/bearman.

It’s not like Josh doesn’t know. He goes on the thread himself—though he’d rather die than admit it—and he sees all the shit that people are saying. He’s even starting to see patterns with the posts, and he isn’t a super genius or anything, but he does notice one little thing—

“You’re not larkinbeatmcdavid on reddit, are you?” Josh asks suspiciously.

Zach normally has a pretty impenetrable poker face, but there’s something about his current air of puzzled innocence that doesn’t ring true. Josh isn’t sure how that’s possible, considering how one eye is practically swollen shut, and Zach can barely move his face, but that’s guilt and Zach isn’t hiding it well.

Josh narrows his eyes at him.

“No...why?”

“Cause larkinbeatmcdavid has been upvoting every comment about how hot the Bear Man is.”

A long pause, and then the corner of Zach’s mouth quirks up in about as big a shit-eating grin as he can manage right now, which isn’t very big at all. He still gets it across somehow. “I was waiting for how long it’d take you to figure out that was me. I _know_ you go on reddit to freak about that thread. Don’t lie.”

“I don’t—” Josh amends it. “I don’t _really_ do it. A lot. And anyway, you realize that you’re literally one of them, right? You fucking cryptid fucker.”

“Hey,” Zach says. “I love you for more than your furry looks, you know.”

“Jesus Christ. Never say that to me again,” Josh says.

“Yeah, that was bad.”

“...You’re living the dream though, according to these guys.”

“I know right? Everyone wants to be me. Relatable.”

 

Josh creates a reddit account so he can downvote all of larkinbeatmcdavid’s comments.

Zach responds by leaving progressively wilder shit in the comments, because according to him, “Your little OHL stint can’t prepare you for weird shit the way college can. You _learn_ things in college. Trust me.”

Whatever. Josh can out-weird Zach, he’s sure of it.

Worst comes to worst, he’s discovered that he can always make out with Zach whenever Zach appears to be winning at like, anything.

 

Over the summer Zach texts him the link to a blog post from a weird-looking site that Josh has never heard of. He’s half-afraid to open it, since Zach’s text is accompanied by the terrifyingly cryptic message _can i be the Bearer of bad news_ (Bear Face )(Aubergine ≊ Eggplant)(Eyes )

But like, Josh has never shied away from a fight before, so he goes in fists raised. Somehow, he’s not really prepared though.

_Fur and Feathers: Love Affairs with the Bear Man_

It’s like...this whole fucking _forum_ with people sharing their experiences. Josh covers his mouth so he doesn’t make any noises that’ll cause the neighbors to call the cops. Or the paramedics.

There’s a chirp from his phone, another text from Zach. _did you see it yet??_ (See-No-Evil Monkey )(Face With Tears Of Joy )(Face With Tears Of Joy )

“Fuck you,” Josh says, and then calls to make sure Zach can hear him say it.

Zach is unbothered, sounding completely chill about it. “Okay but did you see the part where you’re a baby daddy?”

There’s the sound of water in the background. The beach or a lake or a pool or something, Zach probably chilling in the sun. He has no right to sound so normal and relaxed while Josh is having a paternity crisis over his non-existent monster baby.

“I’m not—Oh my god Z—What the _fuck is this_ —”

“Don’t search your name on twitter. Your Bear Man name, I mean. You made top 10 most fuckable cryptids of 2017, Summer Edition.”

Josh doesn’t even have _words_ for this. “Don’t ever talk to me again,” he tells Zach, a low threat.

“Sorry, just thought you should know.” Zach doesn’t sound guilty in the slightest. And then, because he’s a little shit who thinks he’s so funny, he says, “Love you beary much, baby.”

Josh hangs up on him.

**Author's Note:**

>  **Elliotte Friedman** (White Heavy Check Mark ) @FriedgeHNIC: RFA Josh Anderson requests trade from Blue Jackets


End file.
